


farewell forever.

by seekrest



Series: febuwhump 2020. [10]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grandpa Tony, Grief/Mourning, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker is a Good Dad, Protective Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:47:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22652008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/pseuds/seekrest
Summary: Today would be the hardest thing he’d ever have to do, Tony’s convinced of it - the most cruel, unimaginable thing.Because today wasn’t just when he would have to say goodbye.It was the day that Tony would have to watch Ben say goodbye too.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: febuwhump 2020. [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619581
Comments: 47
Kudos: 200
Collections: genuinely made me cry





	farewell forever.

Tony stands in the lobby, the soundtrack of some piano playing in the background mocking him - thinking that of all the things he’s ever had to witness in his life, that this might be the most cruel. 

He thought he’d known despair when he flew into the wormhole, had accepted the inevitability of his death only for him to be brought screaming back to his life.

Tony had watched his parents being murdered on videotape, had fought with one of his closest friends over hiding it from him - the depth of the betrayal cutting straight to his core. 

He’d watched his best friend fall out of the sky, the love of his life seemingly fall to her death, the boy he’d loved like a son turn to dust into his arms. 

Yet this - staring down the aisle of a funeral home, the casket that held the brightest star in Tony’s universe resting in the middle, Tony thinks that _this_ is the worst thing he’s ever had to encounter. 

It was horrifying, a deep and overwhelming ache in his heart, his chest, his lungs - the unfathomable reality in front of him. 

That Peter - the kid who wasn’t a kid anymore, the one he loved like a son, had watched grow up and become every bit of the man he’d always known he would become - was actually gone. 

Tony’s throat constricted as the tears started to form in his eyes, the awful reality settling in that today wasn’t just the day that he’d have to say goodbye. Wasn’t just the day when he’d have to begin to come to grips with living in a world without Peter Parker, a feeling he had never dreamed he would have to experience again.

He takes a shuddering breath, closing his eyes as the tears start to fall. 

Today would be the hardest thing he’d ever have to do, Tony’s convinced of it - the most cruel, unimaginable thing. 

Because today wasn’t just when he would have to say goodbye. 

It was the day that Tony would have to watch Ben say goodbye too. 

* * *

Tony stands watch in the back, the small funeral home they’d chosen feeling even more claustrophobic - seeing the flash of a photographer out of the corner of his eye, the anger surging through him as he turns to one of the attendants. 

“Close the blinds.” He hisses, the attendant looking apologetic as he rushes out of the parlor and towards the lobby - doing what Tony had asked immediately. 

Tony brings his attention back to the room they were in, how quiet it felt - even if he could pick up the whispers from some of the attendees, shifting away from the center of the aisle towards the wall - walking down the side as he made his way back to his seat. 

Peter had once said that if he ever died before him - something Tony never wanted to discuss - that he wanted a private funeral, that he didn’t care if his identity was outed in the end but that the day he would he buried, that Peter just wanted it to be his family. 

One last chance for him to be Peter Parker before the world immortalized him as someone else.

Tony hates that they had that conversation, though he thinks now with some kind of morbid appreciation that they had - if only for the foresight the kid had as he looked over to where Michelle and Ben were sitting, his feet feeling like lead the closer and closer he got to where they were. 

He watches as Michelle leaned down to whisper something to Ben, the ache in Tony’s chest at how his curls bounced as he looked back up to her - looking every bit out of place that a twelve year old should in a funeral home.

The thought occurs to him - in that painful way that the feeling of thinking of Peter gives him now - that Peter had been in this same position too many times before, the image of a little boy that looked like Ben sitting beside his aunt and uncle at his parents funeral, only to sit in the same position beside May a few years later. 

It was a horrifying thing to consider, the harsh and unforgiving cycle of the universe that the Parker family seemed to never be allowed any semblance of peace. 

Tony tears his eyes away from Ben only to be hit with another wave of grief as he looks towards May - sitting on the other side of Ben, staring at the casket - knowing without even having to ask that even the overwhelming depths of his grief couldn’t describe the sense of loss on her face. 

It was the look of a woman who had buried her parents, her in-laws, her husband and now the boy she’d raised as a son - Tony swallowing down the lump in his throat as he made his way into the aisle, the type of devastation that Tony couldn’t wrap his head around. 

Morgan and Pepper both meet his eyes as he steps closer, giving a short nod before sitting down - hoping that she understood where he’d gone, so close to the start of the service. 

Pepper does, reaching a hand across over to him behind Morgan between them - Morgan leaning her body weight towards Tony as he takes Pepper’s hand. Michelle is still focused on Ben, whispering something to him while May continues to stare at Peter’s casket - meeting Pepper’s eyes once more as his vision starts to get blurry.

He knows it’s is about to begin, can see Sam Wilson make his way to the front - another one of Peter’s requests, that the counselor among them be the one to officiate the service. 

Something in Tony’s chest tightens, gripping Pepper’s hand harder as Michelle finally leans back, the tension in her shoulders as she wraps an arm around Ben.

Tony can’t bring himself to look at Ben right now, holding on to Pepper’s hand as an anchor as he shifts his attention back to Peter - wishing in a selfish way that he’d died along with him. 

The only comfort Tony could have, the one solace in the waves of relentless grief that he felt is that he’d been there for Peter in his last moments - watched as his eyes closed for the last time, moments after Tony had promised him everything he’d asked - that he would do anything to watch over Peter’s family after he was gone. 

Tony can’t even see Peter now from the tears that blur his vision, his hands shaking slightly as Pepper’s firm grip tightens even more - hearing Sam start to speak but not registering the words, closing his eyes as he tries to reckon with the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.

He’d meant every word to Peter, would do anything and everything in his power to see after May, to watch over Michelle and Ben. 

But saying goodbye to him today, having to bear witness as Peter was lowered into the ground - having to watch Ben say goodbye to his father - Tony wasn’t sure if he would be strong enough to do that. 

* * *

There’s people all around him but Tony doesn’t really hear them, the soft whispers and chattering sounding more like a low buzz in the back of his mind - the plate of food shoved into his hand feeling useless, knowing it wouldn’t do anything to solve the deadened feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

It was unfair, it was _wrong_ \- for a parent to bury their child, his eyes shifting towards May who seemed to be politely listening to Sam.

Tony knows he should go over to her, to just be with her but he finds that he can’t - not yet, not when he feels he has no control over his own emotions, hands shaking slightly until he sets the plate of food down. 

He scans the room for Michelle, finding her with her parents - her father’s steady hand braced on her shoulder as she seemed to grind her teeth, Tony‘s heart breaking at how strong she was trying to be. 

Tony glances around only for his eyebrows to furrow in confusion, his heartbeat starting to quicken when he realizes that Ben isn’t around. 

He goes to move to the room before pausing - something in his gut telling him exactly where Ben would be, even if Tony’s heart aches at the possibility of it being true. 

Tony turns and leaves the room without saying a word, going down the hall only to see the door he expected to be cracked - taking as deep of a breath as he can before gently pushing it open, face falling when he sees him.

Ben’s still in his suit, shoes off and neatly put by the bed - just like Peter had taught him - sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed Peter and Michelle stayed in, holding on to a picture frame. 

Tony doesn’t think twice, walking into the room with a small smile on his face - Ben looking up to him with a wide-eyed expression.

“Grandpa Tony?”

“Yeah bud, it’s me.” Tony says, slipping his own shoes off and going to sit beside Ben, putting an arm around his shoulder as Ben looks up at him. “What are you doing in here all by yourself?” 

Ben twists his lips, looking back down to the picture frame in his hands - Tony’s heart constricting even more when he sees what it is. 

It’s the picture that had changed everything for Tony, the silly smile and bunny ears that Peter had in the photo when they’d made his internship with him official. 

Tony doesn’t trust the lump in his throat, the image of Peter when he’d been so young almost mocking him compared to the last image he had of Peter, bleeding out and wheezing as he struggled to breathe. 

“Dad hated this picture.”

Tony winced, closing his eyes at Ben’s use of referring to Peter in the past tense already - swallowing down the lump in his throat before saying, “Yeah?”

Ben nods, running his thumb across the edge of it. “Said it was dumb. That you guys had better ones.” 

Tony sees a flash of something in his face that reminds him so much of Peter that it hurts before he brings his attention back to Tony, watching the way his eyes darken. 

“But you didn’t.”

“No, this uh,” Tony says, the pit in his stomach deepening as he senses where Ben’s mind is going, stumbling over his words as he says, “I didn’t, kid. This picture--”

“Made you solve it. Time travel.” Ben says with conviction, Tony closing his eyes before sighing. 

“Ben--”

“No.” Ben’s voice shakes at that, Tony opening his eyes to see the tears brimming in them - the way his jaw trembles slightly as he shakes his head. “No you did it. You fixed it before. You,” Ben looks back down at the picture of Peter, Tony’s heart feeling like it’s shattering into pieces at the realization that the one thing Ben wanted him to do was something Tony knows he couldn’t. 

“You can fix this. You can bring him back.” 

“Ben,” Tony begins, glancing up at the ceiling - almost willing for the universe to grant him a miracle again, wishing that this was all a terrible nightmare and that Peter would come waltzing in through the door - joking and laughing like he always did. 

But he doesn’t, Tony sighing as he tightens his grip on Ben’s shoulder - feeling how tense he is when he says, “I can’t. I can’t--”

“You _won’t_.” Ben’s words are spiteful, hard - the fury and the agony in his eyes breaking Tony even more as he shakes his head. “You can and you’re just-- you just don’t want--”

“Kid,” Tony says, shifting so that he was facing Ben even more so, “I’d do anything, _anything_ to bring your dad back.” Tony’s voice breaks at that, the hardness in Ben’s expression wavering slightly as he continues. 

“But you mess with time and it tends to mess back. If I went back and-- and it did something that caused anything to happen to you or your mom and your dad found out about it--”

Tony takes another breath, his mind going back to the frantic call that he’d gotten from Peter about Ben and Michelle being taken hostage, moments before Tony had flown out in a suit he hadn’t used in years - moments before Peter had been killed saving his family. 

“He’d never forgive me.” Tony says, the words that Pepper had had to tell him only a few days ago - hearing the wisdom in it as he repeats it back to Ben but a secret part of him hoping, wondering even - if there still wasn’t a chance, if it still wasn’t possible.

But Tony can’t give that kind of promise to Ben, not now - not ever.

Not when Tony knows - as well as he knew anything in the world - that if the choice came between himself and Michelle and Ben, Peter would choose them, every single time. 

Ben’s face cracks at that, the anger still simmering under the surface before laying the photo down in his lap. “It’s not fair. It’s not-- it’s not fair.” 

Ben’s shoulders start to shake, Tony moving the photo away and immediately enveloping Ben into his arms, Ben’s sobs muffled as he burrows his head into Tony’s chest. 

“It’s not.” Tony whispers, holding Ben as tight as he can - hoping that he had some wisdom to share, some greater thing to promise him, some kind of hope that all of this could be undone. 

But Tony can’t, he knows it - running his mechanical hand through Ben’s hair as he closes his eyes. 

Peter had died saving his family, a feeling that Tony knows all too well - something he nearly had done years and years ago. 

And even if it broke him, even if the thought of having to live in a world without Peter Parker _again_ felt unfathomable - Tony knew that even if he couldn’t change it, that he would do anything to keep his promise to him. 

That he would look after May. That he would take care of Michelle.

And that Tony would watch out for Peter’s son for the rest of his life, knowing that no matter how long or short it was - Tony’s last promise to Peter would never be broken. 


End file.
